Tag Archives: online dating

Thanks, But No Thanks

I don’t really think there’s a good way to not break up with someone.

Let me back up.

So you’ve met this dude online. You’ve gone through all the ASL, HWP, NSA, LTR, GTL bullshit that’s involved. (Okay, so maybe not the last one.) And what you’ve landed on here is a digital library of exchanged photos, hey-what’s-ups, and you’ve probably sent each other enough winky faces to shame a middle schooler. What’s next?

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Handshake-Me-Down

I envisioned meeting him in person for the first time over coffee. We would discuss the latest headlines and we’d hit it off so well, that he would ask me to join him for a walk in the neighboring park. Birds would be chirping, the sun would warm our backs, and children would giggle as we walked by the swing set holding hands. I would look up into his towering, dark chocolate eyes, and I would smile with no words. He, in turn, would lean down slowly to meet me, and just before his lips would place themselves so tenderly on mine, he would whisper, “I love you.”

“Shit,” I cursed.

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