Thanks, But No Thanks

I don’t really think there’s a good way to not break up with someone.

Let me back up.

So you’ve met this dude online. You’ve gone through all the ASL, HWP, NSA, LTR, GTL bullshit that’s involved. (Okay, so maybe not the last one.) And what you’ve landed on here is a digital library of exchanged photos, hey-what’s-ups, and you’ve probably sent each other enough winky faces to shame a middle schooler. What’s next?

Dinner date? Too much commitment. Drinks? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Mama raised a lady, here. Coffee? Typical, but what-the-hell it’s worth a shot.

So, this is it. You’re sitting across from each other, sipping your iced tall caramel macchiatos, eying one another up and down, knowing that with each twirl of your straw you’re sealing your romantic fate. Small talk is feigned, banal stories of your weekend outings are shared. But.

It’s different.

This isn’t really the same guy you met online. He doesn’t match up. I mean, don’t get me wrong. He’s nice. Really nice. Super nice. There’s nothing inherently wrong with him, he’s…just nice. But the stud you met online was daring, a risk-taker, a pixilated bad boy. Where did he go? Is he off sexting other would-be suitors?

So anyway, you finish the date, and honestly both parties had a…nice…time. So. Let’s just see where this goes. And before you know it, you’ve had a dinner date, and a movie date, and now you’re exchanging regular updates about what you’ve had for lunch at work. (Of course you didn’t really have a quinoa salad and zucchini chips, you’re just showing off.)

The catch is, you’re not dating. You’re just kind of…hanging out. In a way. Sort of. With weird romantic undertones.

And this is where my initial statement comes into play. What do you do when you reach that point where, you know, it’s not good? It’s fine. I mean, it’s cool. But it’s not enough for anything long-term.

The dating has been so casual, though, that, like – do you really need to break up? Is it really worth having that conversation? Or do you just hope that it eventually peters out? Maybe you could just avoid their attempts to “hang out” by going to the gym a lot.



I mean, I have no idea.

I suppose that honesty-is-the-best-policy, or whatever. But, who wants to rub salt in that wound?! Not me.

And honestly, probably not him either.


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